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Trauma

Really bad experiences can impact your life for a long time ~ Read more

Physical, sexual and emotional abuse ~ 3 violations with particular complications

Grief, injury, and other losses ~ a different type of trauma

Ground yourself (literally) in the present to separate from the past

Deep breathing and relaxation to soothe yourself

Really bad experiences can impact your life for a long time ~ Read more

J and her friend went to an event at a restaurant one night. They met a small group of men there and hung out for a while after the event ended. They all decided to go to one of the men’s house to continue socializing. Due to an odd series of events, it ended up being just J and her friend driving to his house in his car. When J realized how the evening was progressing, she whispered to her friend that she wanted to go home, and her friend told her that she was being silly. When they arrived at the house, J walked out the door, intending to walk several miles home. Her friend insisted that they stay, and told J that she would stay even if J left. J felt a responsibility to stay with her friend and resisted her own strong impulses to go. The man soon became very verbally and physically aggressive toward J. She pushed him away and he became angry. J’s “friend” did nothing helpful, and he attacked her again. She kicked him so hard that she sprained her toe and she punched him so hard that his nose bled, but he raped her anyway.

When K was in elementary school, her parents got divorced. But, that wasn’t the problem. The problem was that they had major conflict during the marriage, during the divorce and for years afterwards. They didn’t just have little arguments—they had huge destructive battles that left holes in the walls, furniture cut up by knives, dishes broken, and feelings shattered by hostile and abusive words. K spent many hours trembling alone in her room. At some point, since she had nobody teaching her how to deal with bad feelings in a healthy way, K began cutting herself in a desperate attempt to soothe her unbearable emotional pain.

S is about to graduate from high school, and is so relieved that he will never have to ride a school bus again. The bullying began in fourth grade, and never stopped. Other students have thrown things at him, called him names, made fun of his appearance and clothing, prevented him from sitting down, put bugs in his hair, taken his backpack, and all sorts of other terrible things. He has never been rescued by the bus driver. And, to make the situation even worse, his brother has joined in the bullying, instead of standing up for S.

Traumatic experiences feel really bad because they are really bad. It could be that something happened to you that made you feel scared, threatened, violated, horrified or deeply distressed. Or, it could be that you saw or heard about it happening to somebody else. Either way, the impact can be huge and long-lasting. This is one of those times where it is very important to reach out for support—from family, friends, your doctor, a therapist, a support group—whatever feels more helpful to you.

If something happened to you (directly or vicariously), don’t try to push away your feelings, and don’t tell yourself that you’re overreacting. You may feel scared, angry, anxious or numb. You may have nightmares or flashbacks. You may avoid certain situations or settings, be easily startled, or constantly monitor your environment for signs or trouble. All of these possible reactions, and many more, are completely normal when you have been through something horrible. You may not feel like your usual self, but, however you feel after a traumatic event is a normal reaction to an abnormal situation.

Really bad experiences can impact your life for a long time ~ Read more

Physical, sexual and emotional abuse ~ 3 violations with particular complications

Grief, injury, and other losses ~ a different type of trauma

Ground yourself (literally) in the present to separate from the past

Deep breathing and relaxation to soothe yourself





BluebirdPages.com was created to provide accurate and useful information about a variety of personal and interpersonal topics. You can also find stories here about people whose life experiences may be similar to yours. BluebirdPages.com is not psychotherapy. Its goal is to provide information and ideas that can help you find your own power over your own life, and move toward greater happiness, comfort and fulfillment.
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