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Relationships

Spouses, family, friends, significant others, parents and children ~ read more about common challenges

Communication essentials ~ It’s ok to fight, but do it right

Are your boundaries too loose, too tight, or just right?

Deal-breaker issues

Does it need to end? Abuse and other unacceptable things

Dealing with divorce? Here are some fundamental survival skills

Spouses, family, friends, significant others, parents and children ~
read more about common challenges

R and C have been together for five years. They were friends before they were romantically involved. They are both passionate about their shared profession, and the friendship part of the relationship is consistently strong and positive. However, the romantic part is tumultuous, and swings wildly from love to hate. They are both quick to perceive that the other person isn’t appreciating them or respecting them, and they both react quickly and harshly. R tends to throw out hurtful words and storm away, while C tries to continue the battle after her verbal attacks. After the fights, a few days pass, they end up in bed together, and they move forward like nothing happened. Since they never actually discuss or resolve and issues, the same things keep coming up over and over again. Then they explode again, and the cycle continues. They like each other and love each other—except when they hate each other.

P and T met in high school and have been together ever since. They have three children who have each had some struggles, but are all resilient, kind and fun. Overall, the family is remarkably close and loving. But, this closeness led P and T to forget at times that parents are parents, and children are children. Recently, P and T have had some marital difficulties. They are trying to work together to improve their relationship, but, it is getting messy within the family, because both parents discuss their personal adult issues with the children. As a result, the children are upset and feel put in the middle, and family life is more disrupted than it needed to be. P and T will be able to deal with their marital difficulties better if they are able to keep this focus separate, and they will also avoid unnecessary collateral damage to their children from their inappropriate involvement in adult issues.

A and N worked together for years before they became involved, and have many shared friends and colleagues. They have both been divorced before, and were embraced by each other’s grown children and families. Over the past few months, it has become undeniably clear that A has been living a double life for a long time. He has been spending huge amounts of time, energy and money pursuing sexual encounters online and in-person. N ended the relationship, but still needs to see him professionally. This creates a very difficult situation for her. It turns out that A is quite good at manipulation and deceit, and it is sometimes difficult for N to resist the lure of his smooth attempts to win her back (while continuing his other life as well).

Your life is full of relationships—professional, social, romantic and family. These relationships exist across a spectrum. Sometimes, they can be absolutely fabulous, enriching your life and contributing to your personal well-being. Or, they can be totally toxic, chipping away at many areas of your life, and contributing nothing but stress and unhappiness. Many relationships lie somewhere in between these extremes and are generally good, but could use some tweaking. The information in these sections can help you figure out what’s going on in your relationships and how you can make them better. Though you cannot change the other person, you contribute and control fifty percent of the relationship. If you make a change in your part, the dynamics between the two of you are likely to change in response.

Spouses, family, friends, significant others, parents and children ~ read more about common challenges

Communication essentials ~ It’s ok to fight, but do it right

Are your boundaries too loose, too tight, or just right?

Deal-breaker issues

Does it need to end? Abuse and other unacceptable things

Dealing with divorce? Here are some fundamental survival skills



BluebirdPages.com was created to provide accurate and useful information about a variety of personal and interpersonal topics. You can also find stories here about people whose life experiences may be similar to yours. BluebirdPages.com is not psychotherapy. Its goal is to provide information and ideas that can help you find your own power over your own life, and move toward greater happiness, comfort and fulfillment.
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